Arts & CultureFood and Drink

Vino Bitches: Sonora Ranch Pinot Noir

Sonora Ranch Pinot Noir
$12.39 –  Liquor Merchants

There are two ways to ruin a Friday night: drinking bugspray, or drinking Sonora Ranch Pinot Noir. On second thought, the bugspray would’ve had more flavour. It’s not that this wine is horrible, but I’ve had servings of plain rice that had more kick.

The overstated label was what caught my attention. Three types of font, curved corners, and a golden, gleaming sun with a violet centre that I insist, as I continue to drink and glare at the heinous device, resembles a period stain.

Disappointment would reign the moment the cap was twisted off. Its scent and flavour are ultimately bland. There are no playful spices or depth of any sort to seduce you in this wine that resembles dark rust. It took me three sniffs to learn that there were just strawberries and raspberries, and I only say those specifically because they’re the only ingredients that the label lists. There might be just a drop of fruit extract, which is only enough to figure out that there is at least something sweet-smelling in there. That, and a bitter last note that clings to your nose unpleasantly.

Pinot Noir is typically a light-medium bodied beverage, but drinking Sonora is like consuming air. There’s just a ghost of berries in the flavour and its “soft finish” reminds me of when the kitchenware isn’t rinsed after washing and all I can taste is soapy water. Overall, a carton of Minute Maid would be more satisfying.

Sonora’s label includes a list of food pairings that is longer than its flavour descriptor: try it with roasted turkey, grilled salmon, and soft cheeses. But even if you only have lunchmeat, it will be more enjoyable by itself than with this bottle.

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