McDonald’s has announced its breakfast offerings will become an all-day affair in its U.S. locations this October. While 10 p.m. Egg McMuffin’s won’t be coming to Canada anytime soon, I rejoice in the maintained integrity of McDonald’s breakfast on our side of the border.
Breakfast is a morning meal, plain and simple. McDonald’s hash browns are the reward to all early risers with no other reasonable food choices in the morning. If you can’t get yourself out of bed before 11 a.m., I have no sympathy for you in the moment you discover that not a single stale McGriddle remains. Sure, maybe you’re a night person, and early starts aren’t for everyone, but to spit in the face of the institution of breakfast is a spit in the wrong direction.
Breakfast for dinner follows the same defiance of logic and decency; pancakes and bacon after work does not a breakfast make. While we’re on this crusade to end the exciting exclusivity of our favourite elusive foods, let’s petition for year-round Shamrock Shakes! Do you seriously think the seasonal Starbucks fair of the Pumpkin Spice Latte would be as enjoyable in August? Exclusivity and scarcity is the key here — just as the drought and sun that makes us wish for rain, being withheld McDonald’s breakfast before 5 and after 11 is the sole trial in place to keep it a cultural mainstay amidst the fickle fast food trends today.
Additionally, if McDonald’s can abandon its heritage of keeping breakfast a sacred morning ritual, what hope do we have for the heritage of our nation? The enduring spirit of McDonald’s breakfast will continue to inspire early risers of this country. Revel in this greasy morning meal with me, smell the scalding coffee, and admit to yourself: yes, I would like two more hash browns, please.