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A letter to my neighbour

Dear neighbour,

Ever since formally introducing ourselves a few months ago after we moved in to our half of the duplex, I’m saddened that my roommates and I haven’t had much of a chance to make face-to-face contact with you. I must admit, I was a little puzzled after one too many ignored “good mornings” and snubbed waves from your end as we passed by. But then I discovered that you decided to hate having university students for neighbours without even giving us a shot. Now I can deal with hurt feelings from a lack of neighbourly exchanges. But the police? C’mon, man. What’s up with that?

There are six of us girls that live on the other side of these paper-thin walls that divide our homes. All of us are hard working university students who are striving to work off our student loans. Because of that, it is essential that we throw a party on occasion to ensure our sanity. Yes, we’re going to have people over. Yes, we’re going to play music. Yes, it’s bound to get rowdy sometimes. Surely you remember your university days. We try our best to keep the noise level down, but apparently you’d rather call the cops than walk two steps to knock on our door. All you’d have to do is ask and we’d make an effort to be quieter. Honestly, the police have better things to do than to tell us to turn down the volume. Those are your tax dollars you’re wasting — surely you understand the necessity of frugal government spending, given your “Vote Conservative!” sign on your half of the lawn.

Let’s talk about you for a second. You never hear us complaining about your annoying mutt that yaps incessantly in the early hours of the morning (but who are we kidding, we’re still up writing an essay that’s due the next day anyways). And let’s talk about that weird aerobic music you blast every morning at 11 a.m. I’d be happy to make you a playlist of workout tunes that we can both enjoy. Also, please do us a favour and close your robe when you go out to grab your newspaper in the morning. If that’s too much to ask, could you at least keep your schedule consistent so we can make sure to be no where near a window at that time?

Now, my elderly friend, you may have noticed that we’ve mowed your half of the lawn on occasion, and we haven’t even attempted to vandalize your campaign signs! We’re good people. And we’re all about that open communication business. We don’t know what your situation is like or what your circumstances are, but if this is because you’re lonely on the other side of the wall, then by all means, come join the party! No need to squander in bitterness. You’re always invited.

Cordially,

Your neighbours

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