Why men defend rapists online

There is no shortage of opinionated goons starting wildly tangential arguments on social media. Facebook and Twitter have given the casual pundit a platform with which to shout incoherently into a sea of dissenting voices, including the ever present devil’s advocate who performs whatever kind of logical acrobatics he wants in order to subvert women’s issues.

There’s an unmistakable air of adversity that surrounds any discussion of gender and that’s because there’s a conflict between the way women understand the world and the way men understand the world. That is not to say there is something inherent in men or women that makes them opposed. Simply put, feminist ideals typically stem from a woman’s standpoint, and men — because this standpoint is inaccessible — find difficulty in applying these characterizations to their own lived experiences. As a result, many posts are earmarked by an incessant need to have men’s rights in the spotlight.

Just look for an article about Brock Turner, or any other report of violence against women. Nine times out of 10 you’ll find some proud individual in the comments section asserting “not all men” are like that. In fact, they may suggest it’s unfair to generalize all men or present sexual assault as predominantly experienced by women.

I can’t help but roll my eyes and sarcastically say, “Sure bud, sexual misconduct is a scourge on the world of men. They don’t know how bad we got it. Sure, whatever you say.” This is the rational course of action for these guys. Maybe to them, leaving a rebuttal under a Facebook article is like slapping the top of a doorway as they pass under it. It’s easy enough to do, it’s pointless, and how else are you supposed to assert dominance over your less masculine peers?

These men are, in part, motivated by real problems experienced by men — problems they believe deserve as much attention as those experienced by women. Given the relative anonymity provided by the internet, many feel adequately equipped to offer an under-appreciated view point. Men experience rape, men are in abusive relationships, men are insecure about their bodies, and men commit suicide at alarming rates. Men face issues that can easily be compared to those faced by women. But if your passion for these issues only flares when it can be used to subvert claims made by women, it’s hatred.

Using a news article about violence against women as a soapbox to broadcast your carefully crafted argument about methodological errors in the wage gap theory is nothing short of buffoonery. I say buffoonery because I’m not mad at these guys. I get it man, I really do. Just like you and the vast majority of men, I do not want to be associated with rapists. You’re not a clown because you lend your voice to the issues that men struggle with — I want these issues to get the recognition they deserve. You’re a clown because you feel the need to interject into every conversation which presents men in a less than positive light to champion our collective righteousness in the face of obvious depravity.

Political discourse for our generation is marred by the constant use of anecdotal evidence, red herring, strawmen and whatever other logical fallacy describes a roundabout conversation that ends in nothing but tenderly stroked intellectual egos and virtual validation. Everyone is frothing at the mouth waiting for a chance to either prove how transcendent they are or play the devil’s advocate.

So the next time you’re tempted to interject into an argument where you weren’t invited, listen with an open mind without collecting ammunition to fire holes in your opponent’s argument. If you’ve got an axe to grind with feminists, don’t pretend you’re here to promote equality.


  1. Yeah, you completely missed the point of this article. No one is blaming all men for rape. You’re actually stereotyping “feminists” just as much as you say feminists stereotype men.

  2. > So the next time you’re tempted to interject into an argument where you weren’t invited

    Moderate your comment section and allow only opinions you agree with. Nobody needs to be invited if you keep it public and open for everyone to post.

  3. Disagreeing with feminists is not the same as promoting inequality. There is a valid complaint to be made about the sentence Turner received. Yet there is no reason why that complaint should turn to blaming all men for rape, claiming that men need to be taught not to rape, or arguing that all men have a responsibility to prevent rape. There is likewise no reason to pretend as if women are the only victims of rape or that men are the only offenders.

    This is, however, the narrative feminists engaged in with Turner’s case and usually with any other high-profile rape case. The exceptions are only when the victims are male and the offenders are female. At that point feminists and progressives are remarkably silent, as if they do not care. This is why so many people feel the need to remind feminists and the like that yes, contrary to the feminist narrative, these crimes happen to men and women commit them as well.

    If feminists do not want men to respond with “I’m not like that”, then they should stop accusing men of being guilty of rape because they happen to be male. If you want to understand utterly bigoted the feminist position is and why it irritates men so much, add an adjective in front of men. For example, add “black” to the statement “teach men not to rape”. Would you object to black men complaining about a phrase like “teach black men not to rape”?

    I did not think so.

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