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Vino Bitches: Barefoot Moscato

Barefoot Moscato

$10.49 for 750mL (Liquor Depot)


I discovered Moscato, aka the closest thing to juice you can find in the wine aisle, at the finest, most breadstick-saturated restaurant on the face of the earth: Olive Garden. I had no idea you could get free wine samples, and was delighted when the waitress started pouring the glorious golden liquid in my glass.

Although splitting a bottle of Olive Garden’s Moscato with a friend (a man who only drinks Smirnoff ice) would cost as much an entrée, I figured breadsticks and wine is basically two whole food groups and therefore a better-balanced meal than most I’ve had from the Lister cafeteria. However, as someone who regularly drinks Alberta Genuine Draft (because it’s like six bucks for a six-pack), this delicious but $30 bottle of wine just wasn’t sustainable for my lifestyle.

Enter Barefoot’s jumbo bottle of Moscato.

To call it a bottle seems like a mischaracterization, because although it is made of glass, it’s really a glorified jug. The thing is massive. One bottle will last you through an entire rom-com marathon (even if you watch A Walk to Remember twice, because of course you do) and it’s so sickly sweet that even if a couple of tears fall into your glass, the flavour won’t be diluted. Barefoot’s Moscato is the kind of wine that will have your back no matter what, that will bring a little sugar to your saddest day, and that will make you look classy at a dinner party even though you’re basically drinking grown-up Kool-Aid.

Emma Jones

Emma is the 2020-21 Executive Director, and is going into her final year of Political Science with a minor in Comparative Literature. When she isn’t busy making a list or colour-coding her agenda, you can find her at debate club, listening to trashy pop music, or accidentally dying her hair pink. She formerly worked as the Opinion Editor at the Gateway and the Student Governance Officer at the Students’ Union.

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