Today there was a fifteen person crash in HUB. Although no one was seriously injured, many people involved in the incident suffered broken phone screens and bruised egos.
The person, who caused the crash, couldn’t be reached for a comment. But, initial reports seem to suggest that the person at fault caused the crash due to their chronic, and very dangerous, condition of “slowwalkingitus.” One person at the scene was even quoted as saying, “I saw that person walking slower than a turtle with a 50 pound anvil on its shell, and I knew there was going to be trouble.”
Thankfully, there was no lasting damage and most people involved were able to go back to freely skipping their classes about 5-10 minutes after the crash. As a precautionary measure, anybody walking in HUB is encouraged to watch out for signs of “slowwalkingitus” and report them to the proper authorities as soon as possible. Take care and be safe out there.