Top 5: Numbers less than or equal to five

5. 1

Whenever someone says “pick a number between 1 and whatever,” anyone who picks 1 is a fucking asshole.

4. 2

Almost 420. This is the best thing a 2 ever did and it needed help from bitch ass number 1.

3. 1

A 3.1 is like a pretty average GPA. So here’s a pretty average ranking.

2. 4

Not the best, but pretty inoffensive for its even number vanillaness.

1. 3

It starts every “3-2-1” countdown.  Turned sideways it looks like an ass. Clear number one choice.