Getaway

Student runs out of excuses to not give LRT panhandler change after seeing them 5 days in a row

LRT-riding students have recently come out as pieces of shit to The Getaway, after admitting they have literally no reasons for not giving panhandlers change to buy food or train tickets. They admit that they’ve run out of reasonable excuses to tell themselves for not obliging the humble requests.

“I remember when I first saw him by the coffee machine at the HUB Mall entrance,” one student confessed. “He asked for some change, and I remarked that I had no cash as I chowed down a scone, a 6” Subway sandwich, and a strawberry bubble tea. The next day, he asked for some change again, and I said that I was late for my train, even though I live by McKernan/Belgravia, and could theoretically walk home for free.”

After two more incidents, the student gave the homeless man a 2 for 1 coupon for the NYC Fries in HUB Mall and quietly reassured himself that they would desperately need the $5 bill and three quarters in his wallet for some post-apocalyptic future where aliens take over — the bills would be for campfires and the quarters to be shaved into arrow tips.

The student remarked that after finding further and further excuses for not giving change, they realized what a piece of shit they were. 

“Eventually, things got so awkward that, for some reason, I rapidly walked past him, made solid eye contact, and mouthed the word ‘No’ to as I instinctively checked my back pockets to see if the sitting homeless man had lifted my wallet and phone like a Japanese ninja.”

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