Getaway

Campus Saint-Jean launches a successful revolution

Eat separatism! Anglophone swine

Vivre la revolution! Vivre Saint-Jean! This was no quiet revolution. Campus Saint-Jean has successfully overthrown their anglophone oppressors and established a new, egalitarian state that shall no longer be ignored!

As those ignorant anglophones fled with their tails between their legs, a provisional student government has been set-up in Lacerte Pavilion. Already, Campus Saint-Jean has listed a series of reforms including:

  • Making Campus Saint-Jean the first location for any Students’ Union elections debate.
  • Introducing French cuisine on campus, particularly in Lister.
  • Creating their own mascot, like a polar bear named Blanche or something.
  • People who took French in High School must at least try to practice it.
  • Campus Saint-Jean must have a rail-line connecting it to North and South Campus. Failing that, a shuttle straight to The Marc or Le Creperie.
  • French subs (not dubs) for all lectures
  • A Euro exchanger.
  • An expansion to CJSR radio signals and more French programming.
  • The absolute ability to use Myer Horowitz to stream Eurovision.
  • Eurobeat.
  • French wine and champagne for days (served with cheese and crackers).
  • Another French café.
  • More art.
  • A frank phone call with the Students’ Union.

“D’abord, l’école, ensuite, la ville, et finalement, TIM HORTONS!” 

The revolution will be expected to settle down and establish a new global brand to conquer neighbouring universities or be annexed by MacEwan. Until then, students are invited to Campus Saint-Jean to throw pies at an effigy of University of Alberta president Dave Turnip.

Nous sommes Saint-Jean! Oui! Oui! Oui!

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