Getaway

Victory Royale: Kelsey Hall is finally gone

Take that, Smelly Tower

Well, it’s official, folks! Kelsey Hall is gone! Nobody knows why but, frankly, why would anyone ask? Good riddance.

Unlike Henday, which everyone has always understood to be the worst tower, Kelsey has held a very weird spot in the back of the Lister subconscious; whenever you begin to think of Lister, the very idea of Kelsey Hall burns in the back of your eyes. When you wake up in a chill in the middle of the night, you catch the faintest glimpse of Kelsey Hall retreating into your closet. Just last week, you saw Kelsey Hall at The Pint with your ex, and, more than anything, you were left feeling like spoiled chocolate milk: sweet and sour. If something didn’t happen soon, you were gonna have to take matters into your own hands.

But now that fucker is gone! That’s what I call an epic Victory Royale! Booyah! You’re next, Henday Tower!

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