CommentarySports

Okay, we get it, the All-Star game sucks. How can we fix it?

Give those hot shots something to play for! One thing I’ve always admired about Major League Baseball is how their All-Star game determines which league champion gets home park advantage in the World Series. This way, you’re watching the world’s best ball players play with some extra fire knowing they can make a difference if their respective team makes it deep into the playoffs. Instead of a system where whichever team finishes the season with more points holds home ice, the NHL can bring back the western vs. the eastern conference game and play for home ice in the Stanley Cup Final. Maybe the losing team takes the winners out to Five Guys, or something. If the NHL can’t find a way to make an event featuring the game’s best players worth watching, they should just cancel it and let them rest at home for a week. – Dan Guild

The NHL All-Star game should be scripted. Think about it. What’s the greatest event in the sporting world? Your mind just screamed out WrestleMania. No, you just screamed out WrestleMania. You lift your head from The Gateway and see everyone around you shaking their head in agreement. Well done, friend, it appears you keep true sports fans in your company. Smiling, you tell yourself that best entertainment comes from months of meticulous promo work delivered by great performers. You understand that the pinnacle of sport is The Rock and Stone Cold’s late 1990s rivalry. You know all that and, goddamn it, the NHL should too. Taking a moment to set The Gateway down, you imagine a Zdeno Chara and Sidney Crosby feud in the style of Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant’s legendary rivalry. Magnificent, isn’t it? As you begin to drift off to a happier world of sports entertainment, you conclude that everything should be a little more like professional wrestling. – Mike Simion

The NHL All-Star game is already a no-contact pond hockey game, so why not embrace the shinny-style and move the game outdoors? The Winter Classic and Stadium Series games have shown a lot of success and the host-city would certainly benefit with added revenue from a much larger National Football League or Major League Baseball stadium. The NHL would be adding an outdoor game to a smaller market that is typically not seen in the big-market exclusive Winter Classic game and any potential weather concerns were put to rest when Los Angeles was able to host an outdoor game against the Anaheim Ducks last season. The versatility of an outdoor game would also provide the NHL an opportunity to explore markets without an NHL team, but the ability to facilitate an All-Star game. What better way to test a future market than to plant a massive outdoor game with the game’s biggest stars within it? – Christian Pagnani

It’s time to try something new — something fresh and exciting. It’s time to change the NHL, and the All-Star game can be the league’s guinea pig. First and foremost, I’m thinking black ice and white puck. Enough said, I don’t even have to explain why that would be great for the league. Another thing would be a designated hitter, it’s worked wonders for baseball. Throw a guy out there who isn’t on either team and have them just hit players as hard as they can. Maybe they could even skate around with a bat? It’ll add a totally new element to the game. One last thing, removing goals. It’s so outdated. Nobody has goals anymore. Change it to touchdowns and it’ll be much more appealing to the American market. Give the All-Star game a purpose — make it the testing ground for this changing sport. – Cam Lewis

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