Ab SchNetflix and Chill is rather deceiving. Kids these days are using lingo like “Netflix and Chill” to casually ask someone if they’re DTF. Don’t spend money and effort to wine and dine a girl into bed when you can cut to the chase by creating a date that takes place in your bed with a movie playing in the background. Genius.
Personally, I’d explicitly state whether I want to watch a movie and hang out or if I want to have sex, but realistically I know most people aren’t that clear-cut. So, I’ve compiled a list of film genres and recommendations based on the various stages of your Netflix and Chill date. So men, next time you may find yourself in this position, you can decode the meaning of the situation based on the movie choice. And ladies, if you’re looking to send him a certain message, judge the situation accordingly and take a gander at what your Netflix and Chill film choice says about how lucky you’re gonna get.
Let’s get documentaries out of the way. If anyone recommends Cowspiracy, for example, just get out. I’m saving you from boring sex, if any.
A rom-com with a gushy ending means you’ve been friend-zoned. If you see Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds in The Proposal, or Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, you’re not getting laid tonight.
Dramas are my personal favourite to watch. They’re intense, suspenseful, and you have to pay attention to every detail for the story to come together. If anything, save the sex for after the movie. A film like Gone Girl fits this category. Make a move and I might just kill you with a box-cutter.
Action films also demand attention. The difference is that most of these films are filled with hunky men (I’m looking at you Jason Statham). So this genre could really go either way. If you’re watching the Bourne trilogy, chances are the only action you will be getting is on screen. But some sweaty shirtless stud like Will Smith in I am Legend or even Angelina Jolie’s toned and tattooed bod in Wanted may spark a lady crush and get her all hot and bothered which only works in your benefit.
Horror is the guaranteed first-base of Netflix and Chill. I’m talking about Halloween or The Conjuring, the scarier the better. These films encourage coziness, protection, and full-on cuddling. After all, cuddling is the gateway to sex.
If you really want a film that screams “background movie,” choose a classic. Something legendary, but overhyped; an older film with a historical plot or high-profile actors. Your best bet is a heroic war film like Patton, or anything with Marilyn Monroe like The Seven Year Itch. Who cares what it is, you’re not watching it anyway.
A fun, rebellious way to stick it to your childhood is to re-watch one your favourite animated films while doing something naughty. Their empowering plots and victorious endings tell men that they too can be empowering and victorious. Nothing says “let’s fuck” quite like The Incredibles. And yes, that’s the sound of your innocence shattering in between moans.
So if you’re looking to participate in this fad, choose your movies wisely, ask for consent and Netflix and Chill responsibly.
