Arts & CultureFood and Drink

Vino Bitches: La Casona de Castano

La Casona de Castano
13.99
Liquor Barn

One of the joys of being a uterus-owning human being is that sometimes you get period cramps so strong that they seem to have developed a resistance to painkillers. In these instances, the only solution to the crippling pain is waddling to the nearest liquor store, grabbing the first bottle of wine you see, and getting home before the cute guy in the beer cooler sees you in your pizza-stained sweatpants. If the bottle closest to the till happens to be La Casona de Castano, you have a decent pairing for trying to combat your period from hell.

There’s an easy twist-off cap, so luckily when you forget to grab an opener in your haste to become horizontal again, you won’t be without wine in your time of need. Once you have it open, and into whatever vessel you are drinking from (or just straight into your mouth, no shame), you’ll be greeted with a mellow flavour that will definitely make you feel better.

La Casona de Castano is flows over the tongue smoothly, with a flavour so neutral you almost forget that you’re drinking a cheap wine. There is no discernible flavour, no hints of chocolate or fruit. Just the slight tang of alcohol at the end of each mouthful to remind you that you are indeed, drinking wine. While nothing special, it does make an ideal pairing for anything that you might be craving, from chocolate to potato chips.

No, this wine doesn’t have a strong flavour or body, but it does lack the harshness of cheap wine. This makes it ideal if all you’re looking for it to get drunk enough to pretend your body isn’t trying to kill you.

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