SuppliedStep aside Netflix and Chill, there’s a new catchphrase in town: sliding into DMs. For those of you who don’t know, DMs are direct messages on social media like Instagram or Twitter. And yes, it sounds dirty as fuck because chances are the bro with the weird Twitter handle and douchey profile pic is trying way too hard to be smooth and get your number. Say no to @makeuwet69 and the deuces he’s chucking up in his pic. Just imagine the MADtv “Can I have your number?” guy and run.
However, sliding into DMs doesn’t have to follow douchey Twitter boy’s tactics. If done right, it can work out in your favour, ending up as a two-sided internet romance and not as a restraining order. I’m assuming that your goal of sliding into DMs is to get your prey’s number in hopes that you two will end up together on the bang-bang choo-choo train. But keep in mind that you are messaging a total stranger over the internet, so you could either end up looking like a total creep, or end up swapping faces in a Snapchat selfie. #couplegoals. So guys, and ladies (this isn’t a gendered technique), if you’re looking for advice on how to properly slide into DMs then check out these general guidelines before you decide to test out your mad wheels on some stranger on social media.
First, I know you’re trying to be smooth, but please do not say any variation of “Sup girl” or “Sup boi” to get your Twitter crush’s attention. And do not follow it up with a “ur a babe.” Instead, try saying “Hey,” or “Hi” like a normal human. It proves that you aren’t a sex bot looking for sexy singles in your area. For that, try Tinder.
Next, don’t compliment their “assets,” if you know what I mean. Do compliment them for their witty tweets or cool photos, or toss them a retweet or like. Then strike up a genuine conversation about their interests from there.
And please don’t use some cheesy pick-up line that we’ve all heard before and rolled our eyes at: “Do you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you have a really sweet ass.” Just stop that right now. If you’re going to use a pick-up line, at least make it original. If the recipient is into it they will be wowed by your creativity and not immediately block you.
It’s important that you prove your Twitter crush wrong by not falling into one of the two scary-types-of-people-who-DM categories: the creepy stalker who’s in love, and the horny weirdo who also goes on Chatroulette to masturbate. That means no novel-length messages (now that the 140 character limit has been upped to 10 000) asking about their trip to Korea in 2013 or reciting one of Shakespeare’s sonnets. That also means no unsolicited dick pics guys. Ladies, I have a feeling that guys may be a bit more open to receiving nudes from you, so I guess you’re off the hook. Go forth and send thy nudes lady friends. But still ask if they want them first. You never know who is staring over their shoulder, you don’t want to be the first set of boobs a four year old niece sees.
If somehow you do get your Twitter crush’s number, then I guess your internet romance has reached a new level. So try not to screw it up.
