84 Cheetos in One Sitting
You are high, hungry, and you want Cheetos. You trek out into the cold world to retrieve your treasure. You soon pop that first Cheeto into your mouth and savor the sweet cheesiness. Quickly it becomes two, then four, then 15. You start to eat them in pairs, and then trios. Not long and you’ve eaten half the bag. Realizing you’ve consumed exactly 84 Cheetos, you curl into a ball of regret. NOT WORTH IT.
— Shay Lewis
Having Sex on Campus
Throughout school, everybody is told about the best ways to deal with final exam stress: physical exercise, mental breaks, relaxation, and recreation. Nobody considers that sex can accomplish all these tasks and more, so let your libido overwhelm your prudence while on campus. Not only will the taboo heighten the experience, you’ll come back with an awesome story of sex in your empty ECON room for all of your lame friends. WORTH IT.
— Nicholas Villeneuve
Sliding into the DMs
You could be that person who messages “u up” at 2 a.m. You could be having a convo an hour later about the way that the societal demand for constant productive achievements means your biggest fear is that you’ll never live up to your potential. Slide into those DMs because you shouldn’t do tomorrow what you could do today. The world is ending and the bees are dying. Just don’t send unsolicited nudes. WORTH IT.
— Juan Felipe Vargas Alba
Class with a Hot Prof
Extra motivation to attend class is helpful, but if your hot prof is boring — or just so dreamy that you can’t pay attention — you will regret it. When you’re failing the course because you keep drooling instead of listening, you’ll wish you’d looked beyond the chili pepper on Rate My Prof. And if they’re bad at teaching, the illusion of their hotness will be shattered forever. Better to admire them from afar. NOT WORTH IT.
— Emma Jones