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Weather Review: Edmonton, November 2, 2018

It is SHIT

The weather is shit. It is SHIT. What the fuck is this? I wake up to find that it’s snowed, which is great and fine and wonderful that for once in its miserable Edmonton history the more-permanent snow has decided to wait until November, an actually decent time, to show its nasty-ass face, but decidedly not great that somehow every year on the first day of the perma-snow everybody in this goddamn city decides to forget how to drive and so that ends up with you sitting in traffic for an hour and forty-five minutes trying to inch your way up Fox Drive at five metres per five minutes and running out of songs to play off your iPod and getting claustrophobic sitting in your own car and hating every moment of the fact that you cannot escape this hell because there is no more than one road into and out of the university that actually goes to where you’re coming from. I will die here. I will rot. I will die and rot and be found still listening to the Grammy Award-winning 1999 hit “Smooth” by Santana featuring Rob Thomas of Matchbox Twenty off the multi-platinum album Supernatural with a brown banana peel next to me. Whoa, I think some guy in the next lane over almost wiped out. Godspeed, everyone.

Victoria Chiu

Victoria Chiu is a student who writes things, which by default makes her a writer, she guesses. She was the 2018-19 Online Editor and 2017-18 Arts & Culture Editor of this site. She can be found under an immovable mountain of homework or, alternately, rifling through your internet search history.

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