Getaway

Gritty declared new international hate symbol

Like most creatures from my sleep paralysis adventures, Gritty shouldn't have any rights

That’s right! You heard it here first, folks! Gritty, the new Philadelphia Flyers mascot, is now an international hate symbol.

We are no longer supporting Gritty the international war criminal. Much like good ol’ pee pee the frog, this disgusting abomination is really ugly and is also a Racist. Thanks, you giant orange shithead.  You’ll find no asylum here at The Getaway, you xenophobe.

Frankly, I have no hard feelings about this because Gritty is fucking scary. Gritty is a sinner by aesthetics alone, and anyone who claims he has a heart of gold has been fooled. Gritty has a dirty heart of baked macaroni, the worst fucking kind of macaroni. Damn you, Gritty, you orange son of a bitch.

Wait, what? Oh, breaking news, everyone: Gritty has also stolen my partner. He’s cucked me into oblivion. Damn you, Gritty. You fucking imbecile. You asshole. I’m going to impound your car.

Related Articles